Earlier we discussed the importance of rapport and how NLP can be used to establish rapport and build stronger relationships. Establishing rapport can be accomplished by matching and then mirroring another person?s expressions. This might include matching and mirroring the other person?s gestures, breathing, their tone of voice, etc.
The skill of building rapport can be utilized in practically any area of life. While it can certainly be helpful in the world of business, it can also be beneficial in your personal life as well, as you seek to develop stronger relationships with friends and family members. For example, when in a conflict with your spouse or significant other you might seek to build rapport in order to reach an amenable conclusion to the disagreement. It is also essential to learn how to establish rapport in order to learn how to avoid conflicts, get along with others and overall, have a more enjoyable life.
NLP Rapport Building Techniques: Using Mirroring and Matching Methods
Mirroring and matching is an excellent way to begin building rapport with others. In order to understand how to make the most of this method, it should be understood that in most cases,people tend to act, sound, look and even move like one another. Generally speaking, we notice these similarities at an unconscious level and make an effort in order to get along with others.
Therefore, mirroring and matching is actually a completely natural method that is often not difficult to utilize.
NLP Rapport Building Techniques: Using Observation
One way that you can get started using this method is by observing people that you already feel comfortable with. By carefully observing these people you will likely notice that they already display behaviors that are quite similar. It should be noted that such similar actions do not occur on a deliberate level, but instead occur at the unconscious level in order to establish rapport.
There are many different ways in which we can establish rapport by using the mirroring and matching technique. For example, we can match another?s voice, their posture, even their facial expressions. As an easy example, suppose you are talking to someone and they tilt their head to one side or the other. You might then tilt your head in the opposite directions, similar to a mirror. Another example, would be using the same hand gestures that the other person uses in order to establish rapport.
Of course, it should be noted that you must be circumspect regarding the way that you seek to mirror and match the other person. You can go overboard. You should not seek to imitate every gesture, every tone or every facial expression. Doing so can quickly become annoying to the other person and will cause you to fail at building rapport. Instead, pay attention to the gestures and expressions that are used whenever the other person is speaking and then utilize those gestures or expressions when you frame your response.
Also, it is important to make sure that there is a bit of lag time in between when you match the other person?s movements or gestures. For example, if you notice that the other person has tilted their head, you would not tilt your head immediately. You would instead give it a moment or so and then match the movement.
Matching your breathing rate to the other person can also be quite helpful when you wish to build rapport. In order to make use of this method you will need to pay attention to the other person?s breathing rate and then match it. Note that in most cases, people breathe out when they speak.
You can watch for this and then breathe out whenever the other person begins to speak. When the other person draws in a breath you will then draw in a breath as well.
It should also be kept in mind that while this technique can prove to be helpful in terms of resolving conflict and even avoiding it, you do want to take care to ensure that you do not mirror or match expressions, tones or gestures that are inappropriate. For example, if you are in a heated argument with another person, it would not be appropriate to match an escalating voice. Instead, you want to make sure that you keep your voice calm and neutral. If you match the aggressive or angry gestures in this type of situation, it will likely only incite the other person further.
The mirroring and matching technique can be utilized in a variety of different day to day circumstances in order to help you build stronger relationships.
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- Understanding Time Lining In NLP
- The Five Fundamental Areas Of NLP
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Source: http://www.e-self-help.com/nlp-rapport-building-techniques/
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